Preschool
by Beautiful Cerberus
Summary: The characters of Advent Children are in preschool. What will happen? R&R please. I think it's funny so far.Rated for language. COMPLETE, finished on Chapter 5, 10506
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. How many times do I have to say it?**

**Summary: Okay, this might seem kind of stupid. And it's normally not like me to write a story like this. But here's the thing. People you see in Advent Children are in preschool in this story. I was bored! The story starts off on the first day of preschool. Basically, there are no rules. Almost. Just read and see what happens, okay?**

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It was Midgar Preschool. Located just outside Healin, the only school there. A toddler named Cloud Strife was already at the school, waiting for others to come in. He felt alone, and wanted to make new friends. He knew there would be others coming, it was just a matter of time. He looked to the door, and saw a black haired girl standing there. She spotted Cloud, and stumbled toward him. "Hi!" she said brightly. Even though Cloud wanted to make new friends, he was still feeling a little shy. "Hi..." he said quietly. "My name is Tifa. Who are you?" the little girl asked, sitting on the floor next to him.

"Cloud."

"Hehe! You're not a cloud! At least you don't look like one!"

"I know. Cloud is my name. My mommy named me Cloud."

"Oh. I'm Tifa."

"You told me that."

"Oh, hehe. Sorry!" Cloud didn't say anything for a few moments. Neither did Tifa. She just sat there, gazing up in space, a slight smile across her face. "Will you be my friend?" Cloud asked. Tifa giggled. "Okay!" she said. Cloud smiled. Then, another toddler approached the door. He was wearing a little red cape with a collar that covered his mouth. He had a little claw on his left hand, which caught the teacher's eye. "Excuse me, you can't have weapons such as these in school!" she said, grabbing the boy's metal hand. He said nothing, but swiped the teacher in the stomach with his claw. The teacher fell on the floor, the kid smirked. He walked over to Cloud and Tifa. "Hello," he said quietly. "Who are you?" Cloud said. "Vincent. The name is Vincent."

"You killed the teacher!" Tifa yelled.

"But she was gonna remove my claw." Vincent sat down across from them. "Has she arrived yet?" he asked. Cloud was puzzled. "Who?" he asked.

"Her. Lucrecia."

"Who's she?"

"I've seen her around alot lately. One time, I spotted her playing with ABC blocks in the sandbox in a cave."

"No. She isn't here." Vincent looked down. Then, someone kicked the door open. It was a lady, holding a silver haired screaming child. "Mommy! Mommy! Don't leave me!" the kid screamed at the top of his lungs. He was holding on his Mother tightly. **(His Mother is Jenova lol)**. Kadaj please! Your brothers are way behind, probably still in the car! Please, let go I have to GO!" his Mother said. She grabbed a hold of him by the neck, and sat him on the ground quickly. She ran out the door, slamming it. Kadaj crawled back to the door, sobbing. "MOMMY!" he screamed. Cloud, Tifa, and Vincent stared at him with confusion. "Hm. Pathetic. Sobbing over his Mother leaving him here for three freakin hours," Vincent said.

Then, the door was kicked open forcefully, sending Kadaj flying across the room, crashing into the little round table. It was two other silver haired guys, probably Kadaj's brothers. "Brother!" said one of them. He had short silver hair, it was ruffled at the top like Donald Duck's bottom. **(Lmao)**. Kadaj stood up weakily, rubbing his head. "WHAT!" he yelled. "The way you were screaming and yelling, clutching onto Mother was ridiculously childish," said the other one. He had long silver hair. "Well that stupid bitch of a Mother left me in this hellhole!" Kadaj yelled.

"I will not have you refer to Mother that way!"

"You meanie!" the other one said. Kadaj then tackled his brothers, and they got into a fight. "Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo," said Vincent. "Huh?" said Tifa.

"I've heard of them. Other than Sephiroth, they're the meanest bullies in the town. If you get on their good side, you're lucky."

"Wow.." Then, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo stopped fighting. "Who the hell are you all?" Kadaj asked forcefully. "Cloud!" Cloud said.

"Tifa!" Tifa said. Vincent just stared. "I can't read minds!" Kadaj snapped at him. Vincent shook his head. "Vincent. Vincent Valentine," he said. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo sat down in a row next to each other. "This should be fun," said Loz.

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****Keeping reading for next chapter hehe.**

**Please review this, for I need it.**

**Thanks dudes**


	2. Chapter Two

**Note: I am so dumb...**

**Chapter Two:**

"You really shouldn't curse, you know," said Tifa. Kadaj just smirked. "Ha! Who would punish us?" he said.

"Who else is coming here?" asked Loz. Cloud shrugged. Right when he did that, someone shot the door open. "Whoa, look out!" Yazoo said, rolling on top of Kadaj and Loz, sending them all flying towards the bookshelf. It was a big black kid with a prosthetic arm. It was shiny metal. "What up, fools!" he said, walking into the room. Behind him, there was two other people. It was a girl with short black hair, and she looked cheerful. "Lookit, guys! I brought the materia!" she said. There was another guy behind her, with short blonde hair. He had googles on his head. "Yo Cid, you suck at landing!" Barret said to Cid.

"Shut up!" Cid said. They pranced over to the group, sitting down. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo got up. They seemed mad. "You asshole! You scared the living shit out of me shooting the door open like that!" Loz yelled at Barret. "It's not my fault that you're a girl!" Barret snapped back.

"Ugly!"

"I'll bust a cap in yo' ass!"

"Shut up!" Vincent yelled, and they all stopped. Cloud stared at him blankly. Vincent wasn't the kind of toddler who would be expected to yell. "Who are you?" Vincent asked the three new people who had just entered the room. "I'm Yuffie, and this is Cid, and this is Barret!" said Yuffie, handing out Materia to everyone in the room. "Huh? What's this?" Tifa said.

"It's Materia! Isn't it pretty?" They all held it in their hands, admiring the different colors. "I think my mommy wanted something to do with this stuff," said Yazoo. "The bitch..." said Kadaj, pouting. Yazoo just shook his head. He didn't feel like getting into another fight. "Who else is coming?" Vincent asked Barret. "We don't know," he replied. Then, someone kicked the door open. "Hey, bitches!" one of the guys said. He had a red mullet, with a long ponytail behind it. He was wearing a little suit, and holding a nightstick in his hand. Another boy was behind him, with a bald head. He held a nightstick, too. Even though he was a toddler, he had alot of piercings in his ears. "Who are you!" Tifa asked, standing up in a defensive stance. The red haired kid smiled. "I'm Reno, and this here is my buddy, Rude," he said, pushing Rude forward slightly. Rude didn't say anything. He just looked at everyone. "Yeah Rude, lookin' sharp!" said Reno. "Hi, guys!" Yuffie said. Reno and Rude came and sat down, putting their nightsticks on the table.

"How long have you guys been here?" asked Rude.

"Maybe an hour, whatever it is," Cloud said, rocking back and forth, looking down. Reno laughed. "What's wrong, pal?" he asked, slapping Cloud's shoulder. Cloud didn't answer. "He's kind of shy!" Tifa said, hugging him so tightly that Cloud couldn't breathe. "T-Tifa.. Let g-go," he said. Tifa giggled, and let him go.

Vincent stood up and walked over to the little table. He grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper. "Huh? What're you doing?" Cid asked. "Drawing. You guys are boring," he said, going to sit on the stool. Then, before Vincent could sit down, Kadaj pulled the stool from under him. BOOM. Vincent fell onto the ground on his bottom, making everyone start laughing. Vincent quickly got up, his face turning red. "Which one of you fuckers did that?" he asked, holding out his claw in a menacing way. Everyone stopped laughing, but Kadaj's face was reddened, holding in his giggles. Vincent grabbed Kadaj by his collar, pulling him close to his face. "Ah! Let go!" Kadaj said. "Listen, you fuckwad, I-" Vincent started, but then he stopped. He looked toward the door, lowering Kadaj slowly.

Someone had come in the door.

**Dun dun DUN.**

**Who could it be? Read to find out, fools.**


	3. Chapter Three

**Hello. I appreciate all the reviews I'm getting. I feel so special... **

Chapter Three:

A boy and girl stood at the door. The boy was wearing a lab coat, which had mysterious stains on it. The girl wore a long white dress that seemed to shine. He hair was pulled up into a long ponytail with strands of hair still falling down the sides of her face. Vincent stared at her in awe. His eyes were widened, and he dropped Kadaj to the floor. But then he saw the boy, and glared. "Hello," said the boy. "Who the hell are you?" Kadaj asked.

"My name is Hojo. This is-"

"Lucrecia," Vincent interrupted. Cloud looked at Vincent. "You like her?" he asked. He nodded. "Very much. But that bastard of a scientist took her away from me."

"But does she like you?"

"...No."

"Well then he didn't really take her away from you." He looked at Cloud with an angry look on his face. Cloud held up his hands. "Sorry," he said. Vincent sighed. "I confessed my undying love for her one day at the sandbox, but she rejected me. She said that what we have is nothing more, or nothing less than a friendship. Then, she ran over to Hojo. I was really sad." Cloud patted Vincent's shoulder. "It's okay," he said. Lucrecia and Hojo walked over to the bookshelf. Vincent followed them with his eyes. He watched as both of them grabbed a book and sat down next to each other.

"Just seeing him makes me sick," said Vincent. Yuffie came up to Vincent. "It's okay, Vincent! Don't worry about her," she said. He sighed. He knew it was way too hard to forget her. Then, Hojo looked up at Vincent, and glared. Vincent didn't do anything. Kadaj looked over and flicked him off. Hojo just smiled and went back to reading with Lucrecia.

The day was getting later, so everyone split up to do things that they wanted to do. Cid and Barret were reading the _Midgar Times_, Yuffie and Tifa were talking in a corner, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo were sparring in an empty spot in a room, Reno and Rude were practicing fighting with their nightsticks while Tifa and Yuffie watched, and Cloud was with Vincent. Vincent was standing at a little table, drawing pictures. Lucrecia and Hojo were at a little table across from him. Clodu stood by Vincent's side, to make sure he didn't do anything to drastic. Hojo kept glancing over at Vincent meanly. While Vincent was coloring in a picture of his Death Penalty, something splattered on his paper. He looked up. Hojo was giggling silently, holding a jar of glue. Vincent glared at him. "Bastard," he mouthed. Hojo smiled and looked down at his paper.

Cloud was painting a picture of a flower **(like Aeris' flowers just so you know)**. Vincent reached across the table, grabbing a handful of red paint. He flung it across the room, and watched it splash onto Hojo's face. He tried to hold his laughs in, but then everyone burst into laughter. Hojo gasped. "Fucker!" he yelled at Vincent. "FIGHT!" Cid hollered. Vincent took more handfuls on paint, throwing them across the room to Hojo's face. Hojo retaliated by throwing glue back at Vincent. Soon, everyone was on Vincent's side of the room, throwing paint at Hojo. Lucrecia had been standing next to Hojo the whole time, and now burst into tears. "Stop it! Just stop it!" she yelled, running towards the door. Everyone stopped, and Vincent was the most disappointed of everyone in the room.

"No.." he said, feeling helpless. Hojo looked at everyone in disgust. "Bastards!" he yelled. Vincent ran after Lucrecia, who almost reached the door. "Lucrecia, wait!" he said. Tears fell from her eyes. "Lucrecia, please wait!" Vincent said one more time. Just then, Lucrecia tripped on the front of her dress when she reached the door. "Whoa!" she cried, falling towards the floor. But then, someone caught her with his arm. The person was standing at the door, and stood taller then everyone in the room. Everyone gasped. Even Lucrecia was scared.

The boy helped Lucrecia stand up, but then Lucrecia ran back over to Hojo, scared as hell. Cloud stepped forward. "Sephiroth..." he said, gazing at the tall boy at the door who towered over everyone.

**Dun dun DUN!**


	4. Chapter Four

**Thank you for all the reviews, dudes! I feel loved...**

**Chapter Four:**

Sephiroth walked into the classroom, towering above the frightened kids. He was the biggest bully in all of Midgar. Cloud was most intimidated by him. Kadaj was in a corner, whimpering in fear. Sephiroth looked around, smiling to himself. "Pitiful mortals," he said. Reno stood up. "Uh, technically Vincent is not a mortal!" he said. Sephiroth glared at him with a gaze that made Reno yelp and sit back down on the floor. "Tell me, where might I find this Cloud Strife?" said Sephiroth. Cloud was standing behind Vincent, a little scared. Sephiroth noticed the blonde haired toddler, and gently pushed Vincent out of the way with his sword. Sephiroth towered over the smaller toddler.

Cloud was a little shaken, staring up at the big kid who stood tall in front of him. "Stop being a bully!" Tifa yelled. Sephiroth didn't look at her. He towered over Cloud. "Remember when you took my cookie while I wasn't looking at the playground that one time?" he said. Cloud trembled, and nodded. Sephiroth smiled and held his sword in a defensive stance. "It's payback time," he said. Cloud took out his sword, trying to look fearless. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Reno started chanting.

"Shut up, Reno!" Yazoo snapped. "Yeah, ya bastard," Cid said, closing one eye and putting another toothpick in his mouth. "Cloud, be careful!" Tifa shrieked. Cloud nodded in her direction. Sephiroth was the first to make his first move. He clashed his sword against Cloud's. They moved around the room, clanging their weapons together. Everyone watched in awe. After a few more minutes of fighting stupidly, Kadaj jumped out. "This is fucking dumb!" he said.

"Shut up, it's just getting good!" Loz said, staring with wide eyes. Kadaj frowned and smacked him in the face. "Ow!" Loz cried, holding his cheek. "You're gay, aren't you?" Kadaj snapped, putting his little hands on his hips. Loz's eyes filled with tears. "Shut up, leave me alone!" he screamed. "Um, excuse me! We're trying to watch a fight here!" Yuffie said. Cloud and Sephiroth stopped.

It was quiet. No one knew what to do. "Um..." said Rude. They could all tell that it was getting uncomfortable in the room. Just then, someone did the unthinkable. Reno ran up behind Sephiroth, and started tickling him. Sephiroth's face turned bloodshot, and started laughing very hard. Everyone was shocked. No one ever expected anyone to dare and do something like that. "Tickle fight!" Yuffie hollered, and everyone but Cloud, Vincent, and Lucrecia, and Kadaj started tickling Sephiroth with Reno. "Imbeciles," Vincent muttered. Neither of them knew what to say. "Hojo! Stop this nonsense, you're embarrassing me!" Lucrecia shouted, throwing a crayon to the floor. Hojo turned around. Lucrecia sighed. "This is foolish!" she said, turning her back to all the chaos that was happening in the room, walking to the bookshelf and grabbing a book to read. "Look what you've done, you ass!" Vincent yelled at Hojo.

Hojo glared at him. "You stay away from my Lucrecia," he said. Vincent glared back as Hojo turned back around. Vincent flicked him off. "This shit needs to stop!" Kadaj ordered, stomping over to the mob that was tickling Sephiroth. Then, he unsheated his Souba, and threw it high over the group. Yuffie looked up, noticing the Souba's sharp ends coming down to all of them. "Watch out!" she yelled, making everyone look up. They all moved out of the way before Kadaj's Souba could pierce their skin. The Souba stuck into the ground, Kadaj stomped over to retrieve it. He grabbed it. "You're all stupid imbeciles!" he yelled, stomping away.

**Sort of a weird ending but...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, this hasn't been updated in a loooong time. In the meantime, I beat Dirge of Cerberus. Yay.**

**Chapter Five:**

Sephiroth pushed through the crowd of the kids surrounding him. "You foolish bastards!" he yelled, wiping himself off as if they all had cooties. He ran towards the door, pushing anyone who got in their way. He ran out of the room. No one spoke. "Wow... he didn't even bully any of us!" Tifa said in awe. "Thats a good thing though, right?" Reno said, jumping up.

Lucrecia was still over at that book shelf, reading a book. Hojo went over to her, and she was crying. "How can you be so foolish?" she said. "I'm sorry, it was fun! I didn't want him to hit me!" Hojo complained. Vincent rolled his eyes and turned to Cloud. Hojo scoffed and walked away from Lucrecia in a huff. "I'm gonna see what I can do," Vincent said to Cloud, sliding out of his chair and walking to Lucrecia. He was a little nervous, taking the slowest steps he could. He came to Lucrecia. "You alright?" he asked her. He noticed she had been crying. "Y-Yes, I'll be fine," she said, turning away and looking at her book. Vincent took a tissue from the tissue box, and handed it to her. "Thank you.." she said quietly wiping her tears away.

"You're welcome, Lucrecia," he said, trembling slightly. She then looked up at him with her big brown eyes. "This is a very interesting book," she said to him. Vincent felt something in his stomach. "Really? What's it about?" he asked.

"It's called 'The Cat in the Hat'. I've never read a book so detailed as this!" Vincent smiled. "Sounds interesting.." he said, sitting down next to her.

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Tifa and Cloud were watching from afar while they were coloring pictures. Tifa sighed romantically. "So romantical.." she said in a dreamy voice. "I think she might like him," Cloud said, coloring in his picture of a red dog. Tifa looked at him and smiled. "Me too. It's so romantical!" she said. Cloud smiled slightly. He kept glancing at Tifa, how her long black hair fell around her face as she drew lines and colored them in. How her big brown eyes were like pools of mud that Cloud used to roll in when he was still a baby. "I like your picture," Cloud said to her nervously. She looked at him. "Thanks, Cloud! I like yours, too!" she said. Cloud blushed nervously.

Tifa searched around for a crayon, but it wasn't there. "Where did the blue go?" she asked Cloud. Cloud was holding it in his hand, coloring in a pool of water he drew. He wasn't finished yet. "Here," he said, handing her the blue crayon. Tifa smiled. "Thank you," she said, reaching to grab it. When she did, their hands touched. She giggled nervously, pulling her hand away slowly. Cloud smiled, his heart beating loudly.

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"IS THE DAY OVER YET!" Kadaj demanded, laying on the ground, admiring the shiny blade of his Souba. Yazoo kept rolling back and forth on the floor, first resting on his right arm, then on his left. "I doon't knooowww.." he said, his voice whirring as he rolled. Loz was sitting under a table, looking blankly into space. "Dooo youu wanna go hooome, Kadish?" Yazoo asked, getting dizzier from rolling. Kadaj sat up angrily. "Yes! I want to go home, NOOOOOOOWWW!" he screamed. He screamed the word 'now' in a high pitched voice.

Cid was talking to Barret over in corner about his new airship he was building. "Quiet, you remnant!" he yelled across the room at Kadaj. Kadaj slowly turned his head, a glare on his face. "Dont-you-call-me-that," he said coldly, staring. Cid shrugged and went back to talking to Barret.

Reno, Rude, and Yuffie were talking in the other corner of the room. Hojo was sitting under a chair, mumbling to himself and twiddling with his thumbs. He looked back and forth around the room deviously. Just then, the door to the classroom opened, and there stood Jenova. Kadaj jumped up, his mouth wide open. "MOMMY!" he yelled, running across the room, forcefully jumping into her arms. He hugged her tight, but then slapped her across the face. "You bitch! You left me here with these brainless morons! You nearly cost me my sanity!" he hollered. Jenova sighed. "Come on Yazoo and Loz," she said, walking out to the car. Yazoo turned back before leaving. "It's been fun," he said, saluting like a marine. Yuffie saluted him back, smiling. "Bye, Yazoo!" she said.

Loz and Yazoo walked out the open door. Hojo slowly slipped away from under the chair, and slithered to the door, never to be seen. Cid ran to the door. "Come on Barret and Yuffie! Come check out my new model! She's a beaut!" he said, waving for them to come over to him. Yuffie and Barret ran out the door behind him, eager to see his new airship. Reno and Rude walked to the door, their hands in their pockets. "Well, be seeing you all," said Reno before he walked out with Rude. Cloud smiled. Lucrecia stood up after she had been talking and reading with Vincent. "I have to go now, I feel like taking a nap," she said, walking to the door.

Vincent stood up. "Uh, okay. Bye, Lucrecia," he said, but he still wanted to talk to her. His heart sank to his stomach. "Bye, Vincent," she said, going closer to the door. Vincent sighed. "..Lucrecia," he said just before she could leave. "Hm?" she said, smiling.

"...Thank you. It was you. You were the reason I survived," he said. Cloud didn't get it. It must have been what they were talking about all this time. Lucrecia smiled. "I'm so sorry... But I'm so happy you survived," she said before walking through the door. Cloud raised his eyebrow. He had no idea what they had been talking about. Vincent looked after her until he couldn't see her anymore. He looked back at Cloud and Tifa, who were staring at him with wide eyes. "What? We had alot to talk about!" he said, walking toward them. Tifa giggled.

"So.. what do we do now?" Cloud asked. Tifa shrugged. "Well I'm off, I'm heading back to Shinra Manor," said Vincent, turning for the door. "See you, Vincent!" Cloud said, getting out of his seat. "See you around, Cloud," Vincent said, not turning back around. Vincent soon disappeared from sight. Cloud and Tifa were left there. Tifa jumped out of her seat. "You wanna come with me to the Seventh Heaven? Theres food there!" she said to Cloud. He nodded nervously. "Sure," he said. She smiled, taking his hand and skipping out the door. Cloud tried his best to follow.

As they came out, the sun blinded them. It shined bright. They stood on the sidewalk, waiting for the right time to cross the road. And as they were, a girl in pink with brown hair came to them with a basket of flowers. She smiled happily. "Free flowers from Aeris!" she said, handing a yellow flower to Tifa, then Cloud. Cloud looked at her. She smiled again. "Thank you, Aeris," said Cloud, staring at her big green eyes. She giggled before skipping off down the sidewalk.

**The End**


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